from Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future by Margaret Wheatley

"What would it feel like to be listening to each other again about what disturbs and troubles us? About what gives us energy and hope? About our yearnings, our fears, our prayers, our children?" (3)

"The simplest way to begin finding each other again is to start talking about what we care about. If we could stop ignoring each other, stop engaging in fear-filled gossip, what might we discover?" (4)


"The cure for despair is not hope. It's discovering what we want to do about something we care about." (19)

"Scientists are taught to seek the simpler solution. If there's a choice between two possibilities, they choose the simpler one. Simple solutions are called 'elegant' in science. The beauty of the universe. (21)

"Real change begins with the simple act of people talking about what they care about." (22)

"...it takes just one person to have the courage to begin a conversation. It only takes one because everyone else is eager for the chance to talk. They're just waiting for someone else to begin it. They aren't quite as brave as you." (25)

"Freire had a deep faith in everyone's ability to be a clear thinker, and a courageous actor." (27)


Some Principles for Starting a Conversation

--we acknowledge one another as equals

--we try to stay curious about each other

--we recognize that we need each other's help to become better listeners

--we slow down so we have time to think and reflect

--we remember that conversation is the natural way humans think together

--we expect it to be messy at times (29)


"Conversation is a chance to meet each other as peers, not as roles." (30)

"When I'm hosting a conversation, I ask everyone as best they can, and to help each other listen better. We consciously agree on this as part of our purpose for being together. In making this agreement, we are acknowledging that it's hard work to learn how to listen, and that we're all struggling with it." (31)

"We weren't trained to admit we don't know. [Polly] Most of us we trained to sound certain and confident, to state our opinion as if it were true." (34)

"Noticing what disturbs and surprises me has been a very useful way to see invisible beliefs." (36)

"We can't be creative if we refuse to be confused. Change always starts with confusion; cherished interpretations must dissolve in order to make way for the new. Of course it's scary to give up what we know, but the abyss is where the newness lives." (37)

"Even if we don't use the word vocation, most of us want to experience a sense of purpose to our lives." (58)

"To become fully human we need to keep opening our hearts, no matter what." (59)

"If we want a different future, we have to take responsibility for what we are doing in the present." (64)

"We can't continue to operate with this blind faith in human ingenuity. Our ingenuity has already provided solutions to critical problems. We also know how to have a healthy, life-affirming future for all peoples. We have a different problem --- developing the will to act once we know what to do." (66)

"It is time for us to notice what's going on, to think about this together, and to make choices about how we will act." (66)